I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
