I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
