So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
