Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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