Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
