We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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