Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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