weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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