How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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