all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
