Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
