Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize