It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
