We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
