Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
