did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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