Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
