Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
