I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
