you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
