That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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