i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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