areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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