I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
