hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
