scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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