Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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