The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize