my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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