I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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