I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Acid is not a monday night drug
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
