frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
