did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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