carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
