I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
