im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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