I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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