Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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