let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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