He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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