He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
is that a dick in a sweater?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
