The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
