I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
