apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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