there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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