I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
