Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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