watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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