THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
