3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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