I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
