Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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