I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
