We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
