he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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