I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
