If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
