You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
