Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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