if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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